The Bible says when we're offended, we need to leave our gift at the Lord's altar, and go to that one to set it right. Offense is one of the easiest emotions to take on since it's hard to recognize and disguises itself with all sorts of reasons why we have the right to be mad at the persons who did us wrong.
Especially in this modern digital age when life is so fast paced, we often don't have time to garnish true relationships with everyone we come in contact, even putting time constraints on those in the same house. Many families find themselves devoting more time to entertainment than to listening to one another which is a major cause of isolation, loneliness and rejection. Instead of offenses being dealt with as they come up in small spats, they are forced into the back ground slowly driven deep within a persons soul only to rise up when similar situations occur throughout a person's lifetime causing us to react with each instance.
This widens the gap in communication and understanding leaving us unable to trust fully, and building years of walls around us. And Oh, the bigger the offense, the greater the pain and the thicker the walls which protects a root of bitterness as it grows into full grown tree. James 1... Often we see the fruit of that tree in a person who does really terrible and evil things, minor or major.
So how do we deal with the pain caused by offense. First of all we ask the help of the Lord to give us the ability to look at the situation as a person looking from the outside. Having a person we can trust to talk and pray with is also very beneficial. The Bible says, confess your sins one to another so we may be healed.
Then put ourselves in the offenders shoes and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal truth as to why they acted that way or said that hurtful thing. Then pray for our offender to be healed. Remember in the Book of Job, he lost his whole family, all his wealth and came down with painful boils all over his body. Once he prayed for his offensive friends, God healed him of all his wounds, trouble and blessed him more than before.
So it's important to forgive our offenders, forgive God (since we often blame Him), and then forgive ourselves, recieving the cleansing He offers through Jesus payment on the Cross. We can accept that payment by dedicating our lives to Him and turning from our offenses and sins.
Now this entire process may be instantaneous or take a while. When we're hurt by others it causes a state of grief which is important for us to process emotions. And if we don't release these emotions, anger can set in leading to blame, bitterness and a hidden rage against others, ourselves and God. This often leads to depression, addictions, deviances and eventually mental and physical illnesses, because the Human body cannot sustain the level of pressure built up without release. No amount of pills will take away the pain, they only mask it to be bearable, and allows the root of pain to fester.
So the best thing to do for ourselves, is to enlist the help of the Holy Spirit, who Jesus said was sent to be the comforter and counselor to those who accept Him. If neccessary, go to the offensive person and discuss the issue with them. Often offenses are just misunderstandings, but if they are unable to hear you, forgive them anyway, drop the offense. By carrying it around, we are only lugging around their sin, and our own is heavy enough.
This is a great beginning and effective way to live a healthy and peaceful life.
May God restore and bless you in every way.
Olga Hermann
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